An Esoteric Emperor
bekafa
megabé ailaf (patron of tens of thousands) mekbib aTnaw was a professor of qiné (Ge’ez poetry) and an author of eleven books. He was in conversation with megabé hadees rodas about bekafa King of Kings of Abyssinia, and I learned a great deal, as a fly on the digital wall. And here are some crumbs, for even the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters' table.
The Amhara kings of old were trained in the traditional schools of the EOTC. Bekafa was no different. He too was trained in qiné. So, encountering an old friend put in jail for claiming to be his friend, how dare he?, he immediately understood when tewaney (his friend) said, “እንዘ አበ አብርሃም አንተ ወብእሲተ አብርሃም አነ” “inze abe abriham ante we’biiseete abriham ane” “as you were the father of Abraham, I was the wife of Abraham”. In English, as in Ge’ez, this is a nonsense phrase. Interpreting this into Amharic gives you, “አንተ ስታራ እኔ ሣራ” “ante stara iné sara”. Whose wax, or on the surface level, means the same thing. But whose gold, the esoteric meaning, means we were shitting in the wilderness together. megabé ailaf mekbib was so shy about sharing this secret, that he supplied the audience with Archaic Amharic euphomisms for the fecal matter dispensing act: ወገብ መሞከር (wegeb memoker) trying your waist, አውጣ መውጣት (awTa mewTat) drawing your dagger, and አንበሳ ወደብ (anbesa wedeb) lion waterfront. Bekafa was so glad to be reunited with Tewaney, that he had mercy on all the jailed, immediately releasing them, but as the Lord Jesus in the Gospel according to John Chapter 8 (whose authenticity some scholars cast doubt upon), he told them to sin no more.
Predating Undercover Boss, by centuries, Bekafa had many undercover missions and doppelgängers. One of which was to avoid premeditated fratricidal regicide, by fleeing to qwara (the hinterland of gwender, bordering the Sudan; home of later Emperor téwodros; just north of today’s controversial and young benishangul-gumuz region led by cannibal apologists). There, he underplayed his less than humble beginnings, and married a lesser noblewoman named mntwab, who had nursed him back to health after near-death sickness. Upon his disappearance and reappearance and tricking of his father-in-law to aid him in receiving his doppelgänger as emperor, a spiritual song was sung, “we glorify the God of Ezra, so that the generation may be blessed, matrimony was created.”
merid azmach (fearsome campaign-commander) asfaw wesen, a ruler of shewa, and a not-so-distant ancestor of future emperor hayle silasé, also a professor of qiné, disguised himself as a monk to learn at debre bizen (in modern-day Eritrea). This shows the fluidity of the time, and the artificiality of the borders in the Horn of Africa, especially the zones of influence in-range of historic Aksum. How great is it when an esotericist receives an esotericist? Asfaw received Bekafa, saying, in Ge’ez, “we receive you with spiritual songs, but you are even worthy of being bowed down to, were it not for the God who revealed himself to Moses at Mt. Sinai being a jealous god who does not permit strange (unauthorized) worship.”