The welqayt Question

Colonel demeqe zewdu is a man whose life, in his early 50s, is already worthy of a feature-length film or television series of epic proportions and critical acclaim thereof, or at least strong recognition as a cult classic.

He is the current vice-governor of the welqayt Tegedé seteet humera zone of the amhara region of ethiopia, the responsible party in charge of peace and wellness, and chairman of the amhara identity returning committee of welqayt Tegedé. For those of you who are not familiar with the area, read my maternal grandfather’s opposition letter from November 1991… the inaugural year of the TPLF regime, and providentially the occasion of my 1st birthday on God’s green earth. Happy birthday to me! እንኳን ፡ ተወለድኽልን ፡ በሉኝማ።

The enemies of Ethiopia (the Biden regime, the institutional press, the ivy league universities, the ‘ex’-ambassadors, the NGO industrial complex) only having the TPLF lexicon available illiterately refer to this zone as ‘western tigray’. This is wrong for many reasons. In short, it was de facto true from 1985-2020, and de jure true from 1991-2020. For hundreds of years, anyone could live in these lands, and different folks spoke different languages hither: including but not limited to amharic, tigriña, and arabic. But the dominant group of the area during this time were the amhara, without a shadow of a doubt.

My uncle (my mom’s 1st cousin, technically mine once removed) who spent his most formative years in humera, but now lives in the United States, speaks these three tongues fluently, and says amharic is his, but he learned the other two out of hospitality to his neighbors. One of my cousins (my mom’s 2nd cousin, technically mine once removed) is from ad remets, and is younger and due to the politics of the time speaks tigriña slightly better than amharic, but speaks both fluently and identifies as an amhara. My maternal grandpa said he spoke amharic but heard tigriña; his tigriña-speaking father fell asleep with the lord when he was just two years old. My grandpa was born in wegera, had a farm in humera, and is buried at the famous waldiba monastery in tselemt, alongside his ancestors. Though my parents were born and raised in adees abeba, and I was born and raised in Los Angeles, I have a horse in this race, and a dog in this fight.

“Let us return to the former matter”, as aba hiryaqos says in the anaphora of the Virgin Mary. The committee, a scary word now as ever, met with the rest of the alert citizens of gwender, recently, over the all important matter of the future of welqayt which is the future of Ethiopia which is the future of the Horn of Africa. As goes welqayt, goes the Horn of Africa. Welqayt borders Eritrea and Sudan. Sudan grants you access to Egypt.

Fret not. I will not present to you an anticommunist dominoes effect theory, or some other such slippery slope logical fallacy. As the current prosperity (gospel) party regime’s feud with the holy synod of Ethiopia intensified, some members of the Ethiopian Twitterati engaging in game theoretical war predictions predicted that an alliance between the PP and the TPLF against the amhara would lead to a hot war with the amhara region. TPLF would try to seize welqayt, and perhaps asmera. The PP would try to devastate the amhara into total submission to their agenda with total control of Ethiopia, or would try to secede from Ethiopia with the capital city adees abeba and a good sized chunk of the central, southern, and western part of the country.

Even entertaining this in the realm of possibilities is considered uncouth by polite parties. But it is certainly one possibility. The gwender committee has now publicly stated that if such a plan were attempted the result would be an immediate regime change with the committee deciding who rules next.

A few years ago, in the dead of night, Col. demeqe’s home was invaded by a score of secret police assassins sent by the then in-charge TPLF regime. He single-handedly disposed of them all. This exponentially increased his wanted status. But the shrewd TPLF had been avoiding a direct hot war with his homeland of gwender since the early 90s when their tentative alliance overthrew the communists. PM meles zénawee is quoted saying such a direct conflict would endanger the plan of the TPLF; which instead had to be a slow and steady cold war of attrition and syphoning away of lush natural resources and money and property. So, what could they do to the col.?

They slyly asked him to turn himself in to the tigray regional authorities hoping then for an extradition to their adees abeba headquarters. Col. demeqe refused. Instead, he turned himself in to a jail in gwender. There he waited patiently, and was never extradited nor formally tried and judged in a kangaroo court and summarily executed. He lived. And he lives.

When the civil war, or law enforcement operation (PM abiy akhmed borrowing from the lexicon of President Truman), began in Nov. 2020 (always my birthday month, what’s up with that?), he was released from jail and very quickly ascended the ranks of leadership as occupying TPLF forces were finally and quickly pushed out of welqayt. Two full years have passed since then, and we are now in the third year. May god grant us many more.

God forbid another hot war breaks out in Ethiopia. But if it does, and if it involves the PP regime allying with the remnants of the TPLF (devastated by losses of 600,000 lives) against the amhara region, woe to the enemies of amhara which are also the enemies of Ethiopia writ large.

I know who I think would be our next benevolent dictator for life (much like Gen. George Washington, lest you think this is an exclusively African phenomenon, was for the good ol’ boyz of the USA), that is, before the restoration of the 3,000 year old solomonic dynasty; which lies patiently in waiting as it did during the reign of yodeet gudeet and the zagwé dynasty.

Who do you think would rise to the top?

P.S.

Whenever I think of the good Col.’s story, I can’t help but remember GZA the Genius’ sampling of Lone Wolf & Cub in his magnum opus Liquid Swords. It’s a manga as well, but he sampled the film. Col. demeqe is Lone Wolf, the shogun’s decapitator who goes rogue after being betrayed by the shogun out of envy and fear. And safely behind the protection of his blade(s), welqayt is Cub. Once you hear it, you cannot unhear it.